Facebook advertisements be like…..

If you’re not a part of the vast majority who have or live through Facebook, you’re probably questioning what all the fuss is about. Well let’s just say, it’s the number 1 social network/media hotspot!

Facebook is the key to essentially making ‘true loyal lifetime friends’. Here’re 7 secrets why…

1. The people

First things first, adding people. Now, you have that option to add people you know or the opportunity of making more friends by adding people you’ve never met: it is a social networking website after all. You can create this perfect self, by uploading perfect pictures, writing statuses and sharing things to your audience. You can say what you please, however, you please. Be this mysterious, interesting, different being, who loves life. Give the world your opinion on others photos, statuses or posts. Don’t be afraid. There are no consequences guys. Best part, when you see these people in real life you don’t actually have to say hi! There’s a thing called “unseeing people”. Yes, you heard right! You see them of course, but if you blink 2 or 3 times, you get the option of unseeing that person. However we o recommend also pretending (Sort of like an acting programme also) to be on your phone for this to work, remember that. It’s incredible! download (1)

2. people statuses 

Remember your high school crush? Remember wanting that opportunity to talk to them?  While Facebook will allow you to know every aspect of their lives. With what they like, hate, find interesting or love. Add them on Facebook, if they accept (99% chance they will don’t you worry) you’ll know what they’ve had for breakfast, what foods they love or hate, where they eat… that way you know where to take them on your first date, How convenient? This person is most likely passionate about life, their life that is. You’ll find out their experiences in love, driving on the road, customer service, friendships, life crises situations or how much of a good day they’ve had. How reassuring, sleeping at night knowing this person is okay? You’ll know who to hate because of them. Facebook will even give you the opportunity to know where they currently are. Quickly get to that area to finally meet them! You know everything about them, so conversation won’t be difficult, you’ve got this! Facebook believes in you. Some label this “stalking”, but we say, it’s intriguing interests about someone.

3. random inbox’s 

Having the freedom of being able to inbox anyone, is the right given to all facebook users. In other words, your crush can privately inbox you as he pleases. Or anyone interesting out there, who could very much be your special person! If you’re a female like me, you’ll get all these people messages you whom you don’t know or speak to in person. So you essentially have that option of replying to them or not. Warning: they can be consistent. But Facebook supports you with kinda sending the message across. They’ve installed a “seen” system, so people know when you don’t feel like talking.

4. Own personal portfolio via Facebook 

Think of your Facebook wall as a portfolio folder. Advertise yourself and make sure you’re up to date with everything. Your wall is you. It defines you. It determines how sick your life is, or how awesome.

5. likes defining how pretty you are. 

If you ever feel like no one reinforces how beautiful you are, upload a picture. Every like you receive defines how beautiful you are. It’ll remind you with every upload, that your physical features are important.

6. how much time you’re allowed on it.

The more time you spend on Facebook, the better! There’s a messenger app, that’ll let you talk to plenty of people privately. You also get to know who’s using Facebook, so you can inbox anyone online. You get that option of pretending you’re offline if you’re avoiding someone per se, so you get the allusion that you actually have a busy life. That way you can tell people “i don’t really go on Facebook”. Only the Facebook head office, that checks your account to see if you’re okay, will know when you’ve been active. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your secret! 

7. Games! So fun 

Every one hour or so, someone on your Facebook friends list will invite you to play over 25 games through our website. Share it with your friends via Facebook, so you can play these games also. These games aren’t normal app games. You can literally create your perfect world through Facebook; including creating your own house, friends, work life, car, even a partner in crime. Even practice dating your crush! 

Fun fact: 150% of 20- to 24-year-old’s in the U.S. are on facebook. Incredible. So many people love it, they end up making a second account! Evidence Facebook is worth the 6 hours you’re expected to spend a day.

Obviously, we know nothing’s perfect! And understand sometimes you don’t want to know EVERYTHING about a particular person, but you sometimes, when feeling intrigued by their lives, want to have the option of seeing everything, so we’ve given our users the option of “unfollowing” people. In saying this, don’t miss out on the free activation process, that gives you the opportunity to make friends and express yourself!

{Terms and Conditions: Facebook owns everything on your account. Average time spend on it 6 hours. 120% chance you’ll receive inboxes from dangerous people. May get judged on your every move. Nothing really deleted from the internet.} Mode: Sarcastic

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